10 October 2014

This 'n' That

Well, I had initially intended to share with you my latest experience watching Joel Osteen. But ultimately, that can be summed up in two words: face palm. Actually, 'face wall' might be more appropriate. Honestly, where is a cinder block when I need it?

So instead, I thought I'd toss this out there and see if any of you have a magical solution: earlier this week, my iPhone decided that I only needed to hear sound from it on its terms and at its chosen volume level. No sound at all for podcasts or music (which makes it really difficult for me to enjoy Journey like I'm used to. . . It's okay, only a few of you are going to understand that sarcastic side note). No volume bar or control. Maybe the alarm will go off, maybe it won't. It all depends on what my iPhone feels like doing.

Zack Morris never had these problems with his cell phone.
I'm convinced if I could only take it apart and clean inside it I could fix it. But I'm terrified to take it apart. The guy at Verizon (who clearly is only trained to sell phones, not fix them) says I need to update my iOS. Yeah, right. Like I'm going to subject my poor little phone—and myself—to iOS7 (can an iPhone 4s even handle iOS8?). So then he tells me that I can upgrade my phone. Well, duh. I've been eligible for an upgrade for over a year, dude. There's a reason I've not bitten that bullet. I like my phone. I have it all set up with its case and screen protector, not to mention all my apps and photos and settings. I want to see how long it will last. And…I don't particularly want an iPhone 6.

Let's face it, 6 is the number of incompletion. I'm positive those future iPhone 7s will be anointed and then there I'd be, stuck with a lame 6. Not to mention, all it would take is being in a room with 2 more of those bad boys and you'll probably start channeling the antichrist, right? I mean, the iPhone 6 has fingerprint ID security. Mark of the beast, anyone? It would be like asking to be left behind. Oh! By the way, my phone stopped working on the same day as the blood moon. Coincidence? John Hagee thinks not.

Okay, facetiousness aside, if anyone has any words of wisdom, feel free to share them. In the meantime, now that we are all in full-on Left Behind mode, why don't you take a few moments (before it's too late) to enjoy your week in review (kind of):

  • Have you seen the remake of Left Behind? I'm convinced there must be an amillennialist behind this flick, trying his hardest to make this particular eschatological viewpoint look as ridiculous as possible. Maybe us premillers ought to fight back with our own feeble cinematic attempt.
  • Ebola has hit close to home. 
  • Is your worship Christian or pagan?
  • Did everyone survive the blood moon? What about John Hagee, has anyone checked on him?
  • Hmmm. Can we say instead that it's a 'disorder' (though I think that's a really bad word) and a crime? 
  • Why Christians shouldn't cuss.
  • Here's your weekly dose of adorable.
  • Tell me again, Mr. Atheist, how there is no God?
  • From whence did TULIP come? (You caught me, I just wanted to type 'whence'.)
  • More roadblocks for the Ark Encounter theme park?
  • A free class by Carl Trueman on the Reformation? Yes, please!
  • Hasn't anyone ever told Tim Challies that 'doctrine divides'?
  • You must be a Calvinist or an Arminian.
  • Because God meant it for good:


  1. "Did everyone survive the blood moon? What about John Hagee, has anyone checked on him?"

    I'm sorry EB, but this just struck me funny. LOLOLOLO, seriously........I hope I haven't sinned. Thank you dear sister in Christ, you made laugh so hard it felt so good. Has been a lot of sadness the last few months and it was good to have some relief. God bless and thanks again for the chuckle.

    By the way, any news on Mr. Hagee and how he made it through the blood moons? he he.

    your sister in Christ Jesus,
    Cherie c.

  2. Oh, also get off the Iphone and come to Galaxy. Great phone, really. I have the 4 but I will not get the 5. If I had known they were coming out with a Galaxy Note 4 I would have gotten that instead. But I like my 4. Just a suggestion.

    1. I don't know…I'm pretty entrenched in the Apple cult. Don't they shave your head if you try to leave? :)

  3. I'm actually laughing out loud, which is why I refuse to write a mere "lol". Even in caps. I'm beginning to look forward to your commentary more than the links in the weekly review.

  4. Erin...Timmy just called...he said to tell you to get an android S4 and all will go right in your world.

    Whence I just came from Merriem and Webster's definition page, they say that putting "from" in front of whence is redundant. I think someone should tell them that since the Blood Moon occurred, John Hagee says it's fine to put from in front of whence. Just saying....

    And...we did go see Left Behind and wished we had left that idea to go see the movie behind... ba dump bump

    1. Hi Lori!
      Okay, in reverse order:

      I may have to make fun of you now that you've seen Left Behind.

      I'm with you on the whole 'whence' issue. Who made Merriam Webster the rule maker?

      Um…you should know by now that if Timmy says do it, I'm pretty much going to do the exact opposite. Now if you had gone all Beth Moore and said that 'God' said to get an Android, well, then maybe I'd listen.

    2. PLEASE make fun of me for seeing Left Behind. I am making fun of myself. Oh the shame. If Nick Cage had any career before this....he is tanked now.

      Exactly...Just because Merriam Webster is well known doesn't mean they get to be in charge. Are we being haters on the dictionary? Stephennnn...............

      Shh..I wont tell Timmy you said that. Wait...you mean you DIDN'T hear from Beth too? Okay...you must be slipping. Quick go get your prayer cloth and repent while doing lectio devina right now.

    3. I am still curious what old Joel said that would make you ant to smash your face into a wall!!!

  5. So many closet Iphone haters. Galaxy? Can you say cult?Android? Join the machine, you will be assimilated. Just because many of us don't have anything more than a 4s and can't figure out a volume (no, she's not alone) doesn't make us a sect.

  6. Erin, I inherited my husband's 4s with iOS 7. It will keep all your apps, but some of the designs of the apps looks different. The biggest problem is the battery of your 4s won't last but half the time if you are an avid user. But there are quite a few software upgrades that make the phone easier to use. The 4s doesn't get the iOS8 upgrade. The DH upgraded to the iphone 5 a week before the NEXT BIG THING, i6 The upgrade red dot for iOS8 sits on the Series app, he refuses to Mrs with 8 until we hear everything about it and it's affect on the i5 best to you as you wade through all your i Phone decisions. Thanks also for always posting a great teaching, you usually pick something I've yet to hear best Barb L

  7. Hi Erin,

    My husband says this, regarding your iphone troubles:

    1. Determine if the issue is only with the iPhone speaker or with all sound output (speaker and headphone). Do this by trying to play some music with and without the headphones (podcasts will work, too).
    2. If you get no sound when testing #1 above, do the same thing (testing both speaker and headphones) and press the + volume button repeatedly to turn the volume up.
    3. If the volume pop-up window never appeared on the screen when pressing the + volume button, then trying increasing the music volume using the onscreen volume adjustment available when you swipe upwards from the bottom of the screen (the screen that allows you to turn on and off wifi, bluetooth, and open alarm clock and calculator quickly).

    If there was a difference between speakers and headphones or if only the on-screen volume control works, then you've got hardware problems that upgrading to iOS 8 won't fix. You may be able to live with it if you can figure out if it is predictable. (For example, if the volume buttons just plain don't work, then use the onscreen volume control. There are also many accessibility options that allow you to use onscreen controls to manage just about everything that the buttons do.)

    If you don't find any hardware problems doing the above steps, then it may be software related, but don't jump to iOS8 yet. It obviously worked before, so you should be able to make it work again. Have you installed any new apps recently? If so, try removing them. If you've paired a new bluetooth device, un-pair it. If these suggestions don't work, and you have a backup of your phone stored in iTunes that is from before the problem started, you can restore your phone to that backup.

    As a last resort before buying a new phone, you can go to settings -> general -> reset. Choose "reset all settings". If suddenly everything works, it was a software problem. You will then need to reinstall your apps and reconfigure your phone.

    If you have any other questions, reply to my post, and we'll check back here and follow up.

    Hope this helps.


  8. Wow, thanks for all the suggestions and help, everyone! It seems that I must have that Joel Osteen-esque favor, because my phone situation was unexpectedly resolved. But I'm keeping track of all this advice—we never know when our 'trustworthy' electronics will try to give up on us!


Please keep it pithy (in other words, if your comment is long enough to be its own blog post, don't bother), pertinent (please don't go off-topic), and respectful (to the author, to the other readers, and to the subject of the post). If you can't do that, your comment will not be posted.

If you haven't already, please read the Comment Policy in its entirety.