Yeah, I didn't know they were called praise banners either. But they are. And, better still, there exists out there an entire catalog of praise banners. Hey, would I lie about something this important?
But they don't just sell praise banners. From this catalog, your pastor can also order himself a new robe-vestment-thingy (I think that's the technical name. I haven't been Presbyterian since I was in junior high, so I can't quite recall.) You can also order stands on which to hang your praise banner. Or—and this is exciting—you can order two-sided lightpole banners!
Okay, okay, in truth, I have no animosity toward the praise banner. But it did strike me as funny that an entire catalog full of praise banners even exists. It's even more amusing that the catalog was addressed to my family name "or Banner Coordinator." Seriously? Do you think there's a church out there with someone on staff who is known as the "banner coordinator?" Do you order business cards for that?
Ah, well, tis the season for church banners, I guess. Now I just need a catalog where I can order one of those ribbon things that you're supposed to fling around while you dance and prance around the sanctuary as part of the praise dance team. But that's a topic for another day. So while I flip through this thing and pick out some particularly ostentatious banners to suggest that we hang from the ceiling of my church, why don't you take a few minutes out of your Friday and enjoy your week in review (kind of):